Jeez louise, really blowing the dust off this one. I have been down and out for a while, feeling kind of directionless. Not really having the will to write, definitely not having the time to play. Instead I have been stuck rereading OSR blogs, especially Sam Sorensen's "In praise of legwork".
With the recent release of Jay Dragon's Expressionist Games Manifesto, and the ensuing discussion on the Dice Exploder discord, I finally have something of the synthesis I was looking for.
Jay describes Expressionist games as "negotiated experiences shaped by the unresolvable tension between mechanically-imposed external worlds and passionate inarticulate internal worlds". My work does put me in a fair number of imposed worlds, on work sites and mines and such, but mostly it involves going into the woods. Remote work. Often alone or in pairs. Because of that I have been fascinated for a long time with getting lost in games. I get lost tolerably often, and it is a particular kind of anxiety that is hard to replicate or describe. It is a sudden unravelling, a cageless confinement, being able to run and knowing it will only make things worse.
A colleague of mine has a story she often tells. Heading out to a survey site with a new, green, biologist, they came to the end of the quad trail were preparing to leave their equipment and walk the rest of the way. The green biologist asked her
"Do you have a gps?"
No, she answered, I have my compass
"Do you have a map?"
No, she said again. I have my compass, and I know the way.
The green biologist was unhappy with this, but seeing no other option followed her into the woods. They walked for a while. The green biologist grew nervous.
"Are you sure we're going the right way?"
Yes, my friend answered, and kept walking.
The green biologist grew frightened.
"I don't believe you, we're lost, we should turn back."
No, she responded. This is our job, I'm going to the site, and if you leave you will actually get lost, so your coming with me.
The green biologist decided running was their best option, and took off at full speed into the trees.
My friend had to chase them down and tackle them before the green biologist calmed down enough to walk back to their quads, which were just down the hill.
I can't blame the green biologist. It's an understandable reaction to that kind of fear. I'd like to that I would react like my friend in that situation. I also like to think that, viewed from above, you'd be hard pressed to find a better visual for cosmic horror.
Getting lost is something that is hard to do in a game, most RPGs elide the (often boring and stressful) realities of it. In doing so they also elide the tension, and the value. Sam Sorensen lays out in his article on legwork that there is no substitute for the designer. You have to put in the time to get the juice. This seems like very fertile ground for expressionist play, and exactly the kind of crunch I am looking for in a game. Detailed and deep imagined worlds, and passionate characters to grind against it.
How do you get lost in the woods? You have to make the woods, and not just the fun stuff. They have to be huge, and boring, and uncomfortable. They have to be imposing. And then you have to impose them on your players.
The discomfort of making it is echoed in the discomfort of playing it, and those feeling can be a valuable and treasured outcome.
So let's get frustrated, let's get scared.
Let's get lost in the fucking woods
